The Bike Snob weighs in: Fenders and Road Rage

Two things happened today. One was great, and one was mildly annoying.

First, I received an email from the elusive, talented, and mysterious BikeSnobNYC.
After reading his ongoing discussion of fenders and related devices, I decided to write Mr. Snob to ask him to classify the fenders that I use on both my commuter bike and race bike.

Here is a picture of the fenders on my fixxie:


And, the rear view:


Mr. Snob categorizes fenders that mount to eyelets as fenders, but calls devices that mount to the seat post as "filth prophylactics." Since my fenders do not mount to either eyelets or the seat post, I wrote the expert to ask how I should refer to my mud guards.

Since there has also been some discussion about whether one "rocks" or "runs" fenders, I also asked Mr. Snob to guide me in regard to those semantics.

Here is the email I sent him:

Dear Mr. Snob,
I was following with great interest the coverage on your blog of the ongoing fender debate over the past couple weeks, when I suddenly realized that I am in the middle of it all, and need some guidance.

You see, I commute on a fixed gear bike whose frame does not have eyelets. Yet, I appreciate arriving at work with dry pants, even on rainy days. As such, I have been running SKS Race Blades on my commuter for some time. These mud guards (the German people who make them opt for an anglophone translation of "fender") have struts, but do not mount to eyelets. Therefore, I wonder if you think it's permissible to refer to these as mud guards/fenders, or if I am among the unfortunates guilty of palping a filth prophylactic.

That issue aside, I was also somewhat confused by your assertion on Monday that one cannot "rock" fenders. Here's the thing: when talking about my fixxy commuter, I often find myself telling people about how I "rock" a front brake, Bontrager tires, Flite saddle, Campy crank, etc... In addition to commuting on a bike, I'm also a racer who rides my road bike every day. I really dislike riding indoors on a trainer. As such, I sometimes ride my road bike in the rain ... with SKS Race Blades on my Scott Addict (which also does not have eyelets).

SO, since fenders/filth prophylactics on a 16-pound road bike is surely ironic, do you think it's OK to ironically talk about "rocking" fenders/FPs on a bike on which I "run" Mavic Open Pro wheels, Ultegra components, etc...?

Thanks for any help you can offer in clearing this up, AB

P.S. I've attached some photos to aid you in your deliberations.

And here is his reply:

I'd consider the Race Blades "filth prophylactics." Mind you, I have nothing against filth prophylactics, but I simply take a hard line when it comes to terminology. I'd say you can "rock" Race Blades since they're not fenders and since they have both "race" and "blades" in the name. I'm also not sure the Race Blades on the Addict are ironic because I've seen pros rock them and pro road racers are not capable of irony.

So there you have it, from the man himself. I will now appropriately refer to my Race Blades as filth prophylactics, and continue to rock them on both bikes (and even on my 'cross bike from time to time).

Honestly, it was mostly just a thrill to get an email from Mr. Snob, as I read his blog every day, and getting a personal email makes me feel a little special, even if the only reason he wrote was in reply to my somewhat-solicitous missive. But hey, I'll take what I can get!

As for the thi ng that was mildly annoying, when Jamie and I were on our way home from a nice cruise around Stillwater, while crossing the Rt. 9P bridge over Fish Creek, a very angry, bald man in a red pickup slowed as he was passing us (more accurately, his driver slowed), leaned out the window and yelled at us that we should be walking our bikes.

At the time of the incident, Jamie and I were riding in the manner specified as legal by New York State vehicle and traffic code: two-abreast, as close as possible to the right shoulder. There was no oncoming traffic, and therefore we were not impeding this truck or anyone else from passing us, even on the narrow bridge.

In a moment of unusual aggression, I jumped out of the saddle and chased after the truck, which still wasn't going very fast. Pulling up next to it, (yes, I am that fast), I yelled back that 'We have every right to be on the road, asshole.'

His face turning red and purple, the man yelled something unintelligible, and then called me a "Lance Armstrong turd..." there were some expletives tacked on after "turd," but I couldn't catch them as the truck's hemi kicked in, trying to get away from me -- needless to say, I don't think they were intended to be complimentary.

I slowed down and Jamie caught up (he wisely prefers to avoid such conflicts). As we came up the hill away from the lake, we saw the truck stopped at the red light at Crescent Avenue. The irony here is that if the truck had simply passed us and continued on its way, it almost certainly would have made the light.

Afterwards, we wondered if the bald man's common sense had fallen out with his hair. I mean: "walk our bike?" What sense would it make to walk a bike? Doesn't he know that bike shoes are f--ing uncomfortable for anything other than riding, and doesn't he understand that if we'd wanted to go for a stroll in our brightly colored spandex, we almost surely could have done so without our bikes.

Of course, the eight-cylinder engine gives any jerk with a two-inch dick who happens across a pair of relatively slow moving cyclists an easy means to express supressed rage stemming from an unhappy marriage, shitty job, money lost at the track, or rising gas prices -- all without an real risk of repricussions.

Really, I just feel bad for people like baldie, who live on the edge of rage, and rather than dealing with feelings in a healthy manner, take their feelings out on inoccent bystanders. It really is sad that people like that think that yelling at Jamie and I will make their miserable lives any better.

I assure you, it doesn't help anyone.