Adult Swim!!

*I was going to include of the subject described below, but it just wasn't nice. Sorry, no photos today.

Last night saw me, once again, doing my best Michael Phelps impression. The pressure was up last night, as coach Stewart was filming us for the second time since the class started. I focused all of the energy I usually use for 60 minutes of difficult swimming on just two lengths of the pool. I think I did pretty well on my two lengths, or at least I felt like my swimming had improved since the first class. I suppose we'll see next week when I get to see the video, and can compare it to the first one.

Other than my lap of reckoning, I spent a large portion of the class not swimming and talking about cycling with some guy whose name I don't know. It turns out he's been doing "club rides" (what club? I don't know) for about a year, and is set to join a team called Nyvelocity for next season. Here's what I don't get: Why do people think they need to join a team before racing? Doesn't it make more sense to give racing a shot before plunking down an initiation fee and buying a team kit? Perhaps people like this guy (who, by the way, looked like Lance Armstrong, if Armstrong gained about 60 pounds and looked like a mouse), is joining just because he wants to go up to women at bars and say "Hey, did you know that I race for Velocity?"

Well, I hope he does, so that some woman can say to him: "Get away from me, you fat piece of shit. "

Anyhow, this guy (who I will henceforth refer to as "Peter") was very friendly, so I shouldn't make to much fun of him, but I'm going to, because there was something decidedly comical about his appearance: He wore a white lycra bathing cap that looked a lot like what I imagine a condom would look like, if stretched over one's head. He had a decidedly mousy face, the features of which were accented by the fact that he appeared to be nearly blind without the glasses he had in the locker room, as he was squinting through slanted eyes throughout our whole conversation. Then there was his ponderous gut, which was covered in thick layer of short curlys. Clearly wanting to fit in, Peter wore an all-black pair of jammers, that barely contained his flabby thighs, and allowed his gut to spill over their top. His unshaven legs stuck out the bottom of the suit like a couple links of hairy sausage, which grew wrinkly as the class progressed.

But beyond any of Peter's physical attributes, what struck me most about him was the way he tilted his head to the left and squinted his eyes even harder any time I mentioned anything he wasn't familiar with, or anything that made him uncomfortable. Example:

Peter: "So what kind of bike to you ride?"
Me: "A Douglas."
Head tilts, eyes squint, brow furrows
Peter: "Oh, I'm not familiar with that brand..."

Peter: "Oh, what team are you on?"
Me: "Brooklyn Velo Force."
Head tilts, eyes squint, brow furrows
Peter: "How'd you get hooked up with them?"

And so on. In the end we had a very nice conversation about the cycling life, and I think I was able to dispense some information that I would have found very useful as a beginning racer. For example, I told him that this time of year I'm actually ramping up my weekly mileage, while I let my intensity slide a bit as I focus on building a solid base. Then the mileage comes way down and the intensity skyrockets in January and February when it's often too cold to ride outside, and the trainer is a convenient alternative. Will he follow my advice? Probably not this year, but maybe, if he actually likes racing, he'll give the Bernstein program a shot next year. In any event, our conversation ended when I took off my bathing suit, which I think made him a little uncomfortable, as I wrapped himself tightly in a towel and turned to face the corner.

I'm not going to give any hints, but I'm going to be making a huge announcement on the blog tomorrow, so check back!